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POLITICALSOLUTIONS.INFO
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you, by E-mailing me your mailing address to: jmarinoesq@netzero.com
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Lets get rid of the present members of Congress.
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Welcome to my website and blog: I use
this site as my method to share my political views and solutions to issues that most concern everyone in the U.S. today. You
can expect me to write about a new subject ever few days or so. I invite you to voice your ideas and help me solve our
national problems. Unlike congress, I will listen to your concerns and together, we can act with our votes. About me: I have 85 years of life experience involving
solving problems. I'm a retired attorney, living in Florida. Andy Looney is my pen name because I just might be
"looney" to think the American people can solve these long standing problems in America. We know congress hasn't
been able and continues to not be able to for years. I welcome your comments, so let's start some dialog people!
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
ACORN,
IS A HOT CHESTNUT, THESE DAYS Always think before you vote!
OCTOBER 28, 2009
With all the bad news and publicity Acorn is getting these days you might wonder,
why they are still on the public payroll? The answer is that they were established and
funded by Congress to help get people to register to vote. The democratically controlled
Congress is reluctant to cut off their funding; since they are one of the reasons Obama was elected President in 2008.
Who does not remember the scandals about voter registration fraud in state after state, during that year?
Yet, to my knowledge, nothing has been done to correct this problem which continued throughout the campaign.
Employees were paid, in many cases, by the number of people they signed up to vote the abuse resulted when those employees
merely made up false registrations of people on the census list and not on the voting list. It
was just a fast way for them to make a buck while helping their candidate of choice, Barack Obama a fellow employee of Acorn
himself.
If Acorn was buying names in that
fashion, the question is, did they also take the next logical step and pay people to vote or arrange to show these new voters
or non voters as contributors to the political campaign of Obama for the senate and also for the presidency.
Someone was pumping a lot of money into his campaign and questions have been raised about the real source of these
“small internet contributions” from literally millions of people. Was this money coming
from some of Obama’s fat cat backers, instead of the sources claimed? No one has
taken the time to check this out and the u s attorney, an appointee and friend of Obama, does not want
to look into the records of Acorn because, I am sure he is afraid of what he will find.
The most recent scandal, involved two offices of Acorn where a movie producer and his girlfriend posing as a pimp and
prostitute, walked into separate offices of Acorn seeking advice on how to avoid income taxes on the supposed proceeds of
this illicit business including bringing in prostitutes from outside the country. In both cases these
investigators were freely given precise and identical advice on how to avoid taxes and carry on such an illegal business.
In addition Acorn is under local investigation for what happened to about a half million dollars
of this public money missing from the accounting of Acorn’s books. Because of the U.
S. Attorney General’s refusal to act on this scandal, only state authorities have begun to take action against Acorn,
while Congress is said to plan withhold any more funds in next year’s budget. Knowing Congress,
you can be assured they may restore these funds when you and I are not looking. This bill to register voters in the country was well intentioned
but looks at the abuse that resulted. With money as tight as it is these days, this is no time to
spend money to get people to do what they should do in the first place, if they are civic minded and care what is happening
in their country. This enterprise has been abused and the American taxpayer’s money wasted
and squandered. It is time to end this bad experiment and experience.
Traditionally each candidate has the responsibility to get the vote out and each has met that challenge with their
own resources, in the past, as it should be. You can lead a voter to register but you cannot
depend on a voter to vote, especially if he chooses not to vote. This has been a wasteful and costly
experiment that we need to stop immediately because of its obvious abuse and wasteful costs.
Finally,
the Congress themselves, should investigate these abuses, clearly obvious for all to see, Congress
also has the power to demand a special independent counsel to be appointed to quickly investigate Acorn
and possibly prosecute those responsible for their misdeeds at Acorn . Of course,
in the meantime, all public funds should be cut off and they should not be allowed to do business until they are cleared of
any wrong doing and anything less than that would result in a continuation of a system that has proven to be a big mistake
In the first place and utterly unnecessary in the second place and too costly in the third place.
6:22 pm
Monday, October 26, 2009
THE PROBLEM IN AFGHANISTAN
After the twin tower terrorist
strike of 9-11-01 that killed nearly 3000 American and wounded thousands of others, it was right for our country to invade
Afghanistan to seek out and destroy Osama bin Laden and his terrorist trained Al Qaeda members.
At the same
time our country was obliged to seek out and destroy, the Taliban government, who refused our demands to deliver up bin Laden
and his henchmen.
Within a few months our forces had defeated the Taliban and many Al Qaeda members were
killed, wounded or captured. Bin laden escaped deep into the mountainous caves of Afghanistan and despite
our best efforts to kill or capture him; he eluded our troops and escaped to some unknown place.
Afghanistan was
left without a government of army and tribal leaders quickly moved back into the power and control of many areas of the country.
These tribal leaders had their own soldiers, weapons and power to enforce their rule on their people. Most
live off a cocaine crop from the poppy fields evident throughout the country, their main crop and export to provide the funds
to support their respective people. As a result, these tribal leaders rule with an iron fist and their
people are controlled with guns and intimidation.
These tribal
leaders are easily bribed by members of Al Qaeda or the Taliban anxious to return to power and take charge of the country.
The U.S. and Russia before them are looked upon as foreign invaders who come and go and soon the Americans will leave
and things will return to where they were before with the control of the people and country shared between the tribal leaders
and the Taliban government leader, who are still on the ground.
Osama bin Laden
located himself and his terrorists in Afghanistan because he had given the country moral and financial support during the
Russian invasion and he was welcomed with open arms by the Taliban and the Afghan people. Today, it would
not surprise anyone if he was being harbored with the country by loyal or sympathetic supporters. That
is probably the main reason why the 10 million dollar reward offered for his death or capture has not been claimed.
Therefore, this loyalty for Osama bin Laden has made the American and UN forces in Afghanistan, the enemy and
not their friends and saviors. Until he is captured or killed Osama bin Laden will remain the country’s
hero and savior and we, “invaders”, will continue to be resented with our presence.
Remember what our
goal was in Afghanistan to capture and destroy Obama bin Laden and his gang of Al Qaeda the Taliban, on the other hand were
mere pawns in the process because of their natural resistance and reluctance to “deliver up” bin Laden.
Maybe, if we had stayed in force until bin laden was found instead of marching off to Iraq for no good reason, things may
have been different if the bin Laden loyalty factor had been removed.
Now, it appears that the Taliban has joined
forces with bin Laden and/or his sympathizers, or both to break the will of the allied forces and the American people to continue
the fight and search for bin Laden and bring peace to the area.
Complicating this matter is the support the
Iranian government has given the Taliban and terrorists by sending trained men and huge amount of weapons into Afghanistan
for their continued support.
Consequently, our forces are now being faced with a concerted effort of the Taliban to
return to power. They do not wear uniforms but civilian native clothing that permits them to melt into
the crowd with the population, of which they were a part of for years. It is the same guerilla warfare
we find ourselves in Iraq and endured in Vietnam and the French and Indian wars, a type of terrorism difficult to stop or
combat.
In a recent article, I suggested that the borders must be secured and all the weapons found in the country should be confiscated
in order to stop the constant terrorist acts and raids on our military forces.
In
addition, if feel that our main enemy is not the Taliban but bin Laden and Al Qaeda this may be the time to make a deal with
the Taliban, to offer them the help to return to power, if only they would do what was asked of them in the first place, give
up Osama bin laden and his al Qaeda terrorists. If they accept our offer, we will have completed our mission
and they would be returned to power once again. If they refuse, my plan laid out in a previous article
of mine: to seal the border and pick up all the country’s weapons should be our first priority this will include a sweep
of the country in order to confiscate all the weapons. Without weapons, the terrorist located in the country
cannot terrorize and they would be out of business.
Of
course, if we could get the Taliban to cooperate and accept our generous offer, including the reward and assistance to regain
power, our mission would be accomplished and we could leave Afghanistan with the victory we have been seeking since late 2001.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
THE
OLYMPIC COMMITTEES SELECTION OF THE WORLDCITY
FOR THE 2016 OLYMPIC
“CHICAGO, YOU LOSE!”
IT WAS ANNOUNCED RECENTLY THAT THE CITY OF CHICAGO HAD
APPLIED TO THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE FOR SELECTION AS THE CITY TO SPONSOR THE WORLD OLYMPICS IN 2016.MAYOR DALEY AND OTHER CITY, STATE AND NATIONAL LEADERS, LIKE OPRAH WINFREY, JUMPED AT THE OPPORTUNITY
TO SHOW CASE THE CITY OF CHICAGO FOR THIS IMPORTANT EVENT. EVEN PRESIDENT OBAMA AND HIS WIFE THREW THEIR
SUPPORT AND PUT OBAMA’S REPUTATION ON THE LINE FOR THE CITY OF CHICAGO BY TRAVELLING TO THE NETHERLANDS, SITE OF SAID
SELECTION PROCESS ON OCTOBER 2, 2009. HE AND HIS WIFE SPOKE ELOQUENTLY OF THE NEED TO HOLD THE OLYMPICS
THERE IN 2016, CITING THE FACT THAT HE LIVED WITHIN THE COSMOPOLITAN CHICAGO WOULD WELCOME THE WORLD WITH OPEN ARMS TO THEIR
CITY.
WHAT THE POLITICIANS
OF CHICAGO DID NOT REMEMBER WAS THE REPUTATION OF CHICAGO THAT HAS PERMEATED THE STATE SINCE 1865 WHEN PRESIDENT LINCOLN WAS
BURIED IN HIS HOME STATE AFTER BEING ASSASSINATED BY DISGRUNTLED SOUTHERN SYMPATHIZERS AT THE END OF THE CIVIL WAR BETWEEN
THE STATES, NORTH VERSES THE SOUTH.PEOPLE MAY FORGET THAT
MRS. O’LEARY’S COW MAY HAVE STARTED THE CHICAGO FIRE IN THE LATE 1800’S WHICH HELPED
SNUFF OUT THE STENCH AND SQUALOR OF THE CATTLE STOCK YARDS AND SLAUGHTER HOUSES AT THE RAILROAD YARDS OF CHICAGO, BECAUSE
THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A BLESSING IN DISGUISE. WHAT
THEY CANNOT FORGET IS AL CAPONE AND THE RIVAL GANGS OF THUGS AND BOOT LEGERS THAT BROUGHT DEATH, FEAR AND ALARM TO THE GOOD
CITY IN THE LATE 1920’S AND EARLY 1930’S, WITH ITS SPEAKEASIES AND CAROUSING ILLEGAL BOOZE-DRINKERS AND PARTY
GOERS. WHEN THE SAINT VALENTINE’S DAY MASSACRE TOOK PLACE AT THE HANDS OF CAPONE, THE COUNTRY HAD
HAD ENOUGH OF THIS DEATH AND LAWLESSNESS AND ENLISTED THE AID OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION AND ITS CHICAGO HEAD,
ELIOT NESS TO CLEAN UP THIS CITY OF SIN, ONCE AND FOR ALL. AS A RESULT, AL CAPONE, WAS SOON FOUND GUILTY
OF INCOME TAX EVASION AND PACKED OFF TO ALCATRAZ IN CALIFORNIA TO COOL OFF FOR ABOUT 12 YEARS IN THE PEN. HOWEVER,
THOSE CRIMINALS WERE SOON PUT OUT OF BUSINESS BY THE REPEAT OF THE PROHIBITION ACT WHEN THE MANUFACTURING AND SALES OF INTOXICATING
LIQUOR WAS MADE LEGAL BY THEN PRESIDENT, FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT, AFTER CONGRESS REALIZED, THE GOOD INTENTIONS OF WIVES AND
TEA-TODDLERS ONLY BREAD A CLASS OF BOOTLEGGERS AND CRIMINALS THAT CAUSED HAVOC AND DEATH IN EVERY CITY FAR OUTWEIGHING THE
EFFECTS OF LIQUOR ON ANY INDIVIDUAL. THAT WAS A LESSON THAT HAS NEVER BEEN FORGOTTEN AND CHICAGO BEARS
THE SCARS AND RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT HAPPENING WITHIN ITS BOARDERS.WHAT
FOLLOWED THESE TRAGIC EVENTS WAS WORSE THAN COULD BE IMAGINED IN THAT TROUBLED CROSSROAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS COUNTRIES DIRTY
POLITICS CAME INTO ITS OWN, DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION YEARS OF THE 1930’S AND REPLACED THE ILLEGAL CRIMINAL BOOTLEG
GANG OF THIEVES, PROSTITUTION AND GAMBLING HALLS WITH LEGAL POLITICAL GANGS OF POLITICIANS THAT TOOK OVER THE CITY AND INTRODUCED
BRIBERY AND PATRONAGE TO THE CITY AND STATE AS A WAY OF LIFE.
THE LIKES OF MAYOR DALEY, SR., HELD SWAY IN CHICAGO WELL INTO THE 1950’S AND HAS BEEN REPLACED
BY MOST MAYORS AND GOVERNORS WHO HAVE GONE TO JAIL FOR THEIR MISDEEDS, OR IMPEACHED FROM OFFICE FOR TRYING TO SELL OBAMA’S
SENATE SEAT ONLY LAST YEAR.CORRUPTION HAS BEEN AN ACCEPTED
WAY OF LIFE IN CHICAGO AND MOST OF CHICAGO FOR SO LONG IT IS JUST COMMONPLACE AND EXPECTED. REMEMBER, THESE
EVENTS ARE AS RECENT AS LAST YEAR AND THE TARNISH DID NOT HAVE TIME TO BE RE-POLISHED.THEN YOU MAY WANT TO HEAR OF A RECENT EVENT THAT SHOWED THAT VIOLENCE IS RAMPED IN CHICAGO.
A STORY JUST BROKE A FEW WEEKS AGO WHEN A GANG OF BLACKS BEAT UP AND KILLED A 16 YEAR OLD BLACK
BOY WITH BATS AND STICKS. THAT EVENT LEAVES PEOPLE WONDERING HOW YOU CAN SPONSOR AN OLYMPIC EVENT IN CHICAGO,
IF THIS TYPE OF CRIME AND CORRUPTION EXISTS TODAY AND IS STARING YOU IN THE FACE.PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO ASK IF THE PRESIDENTS FAILURE TO WOO THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE TO SELECT CHICAGO AS THE
OLYMPIC SITE FOR THE YEAR 2016, AFFECTS HIS POWER OF PERSUASION AND THE ANSWER IS THAT THE CHARISMA AND
CHARM DISPLAYED BY OBAMA THAT WON HIM THE PRESIDENCY, DID LITTLE GOOD TO HIS GOOD INTENTIONS IN HELPING CHICAGO IN THIS QUEST.IN FACT, IT MAY HAVE HAD A NEGATIVE EFFECT IF ANYONE TAKES THE TIME TO LOOK AT
THE ECONOMIC SITUATION IN THE U.S. SINCE HIS PRESIDENCY BEGAN IN JANUARY OF THIS YEAR. IN SPITE OF HIS
PROMISES OF “CHANGE” AND “CAN DO” NOTHING HAS CHANGED AND HE CAN’T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT.
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE EXPECTED HIM TO “CHANGE” THE SAME OLD POLITICS ESPECIALLY WITHIN HIS OWN CABINET. HE
ALSO BAILED OUT THE BANKERS AND MONEY PEOPLE WHO WERE MAJOR CONTRIBUTORS TO HIS CAMPAIGN AND THOSE CONGRESSMEN AND DID NEXT
TO NOTHING TO STOP THE 8 MILLION PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR JOBS SINCE 2007, WHILE 2300,000 MORE CONTINUE TO LOSE THEIR JOBS
MONTHLY. THE ECONOMY CAN NEVER RECOVER AND MATTERS WILL SOON REACH DEPRESSION CONDITIONS UNTIL AND UNLESS
MEANS ARE FOUND TO IMMEDIATELY PUT ALL THOSE AMERICANS BACK TO WORK IN PERMANENT JOBS.SOON, OBAMA WILL REALIZE THAT THE MORE HE MAKES SPEECHES AND PLEAS FOR THIS OR THAT IN GOVERNMENT
THE MORE HE WILL REALIZE THAT HIS CHARISMA AND CHARM WILL NOT WIN THE DAY. IT IS TIME TO DELIVER ON HIS
PROMISE FOR “CHANGE” AND “CAN DO.” PROMISES THAT THINGS WILL IMPROVE NEXT YEAR
OR THINGS ARE IMPROVING BECAUSE THE STOCK MARKET HAD RECOVERED, WILL NOT PUT MONEY INTO THE POCKETS OF THE UNEMPLOYED WORKER
WHO HAS DEPLETED ALL HIS MONEY TO SURVIVE TO DATE AND IS WORRIED ABOUT FEEDING HIS FAMILY TOMORROW. MR. PRESIDENT,
IT IS TIME TO REPRESENT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHO ELECTED YOU AND NOT BIG MONEY YOU CATER TO. YOUR GOOD LOOKS
AND PROMISES ARE WEARING THIN WITH MOST AMERICANS, NOW IS THE TIME TO DELIVER ON YOUR PROMISES, NOT NEXT
MONTH OR NEXT YEAR, NOW, THIS WEEK , BECAUSE THE SITUATION IS CRITICAL AND CRUCIAL. TODAY
AND TOMORROW MAY BE TOO LATE FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND FOR YOU, SIR. IF YOU DO NOT BELIEVE ME, REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND THE CITY OF CHICAGO BEFORE THE OLYMPIC COMMITTEE IN COPENHAGEN, DENMARK. THE MESSAGE
COULD NOT HAVE BEEN CLEARER OR MORE SHOCKING TO YOU AND CHICAGO “YOU LOOSE CHICAGO” AND ALL OF AMERICA WILL LOOSE
TOO!
Friday, October 9, 2009
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, DISCOVEROR OF NORTH AND SOUTH AMERICA
MIA NAMA ISA CRISTOFOLO COLUMBO NOTA CHRISTOPHER
COLUMBUS. U AMERICANI CANNO SPELLA MIA NAMA, BECUZA U NO LIKA ITALIANI TO FINA U CUNTRI. NOWA,
MABI U WANTA CHANGA DA NAMA AMERICA BUCUZ AMERICO VESPUCCI, AN UDDA ITALIANO FIGGA U HISA NAME? WATSA MATTA FO U? HEA ANNA ME WERA LOOKINA FOR CHINA, BUT WE BUMPA INTO AMERICABY
MISTAKE. SO U NO, AMERICA HESA REELA MISTAKA ANDA ITA NEVA GO AWAY, ITA ALWAYS WILLA BE A MISTAKE ONA DA
MAPA.
IA WAS BORNA INA GENOA SALAMI, ITALIA, INA 1462.
TO MI PAPA WIDA MI MAMA, HOO INVENTA DA SALAMI. ITSA MADA WIDA PESA POROKO ANDA SALT WIDDA
GUSTA OUTSIDEA LIKA SILKA STOCKINA. U PUSHA HERA AND PUSHA DERE ANA DA PORKO GO EVERYWHEAR INA PUSHA
HERA AND PUSHA DERE ANA DA PORKO GO EVERYWEAR INA DA CASSA, ANA MAKA BIGGS SALAMI EVRYBOBI LIKA ALLLA TIMA.
MIA PAPA HEAR SO PORA, HE NO GOA TO DA SCULO BECAUSA HEA HUNGRI ALLA TIMA ANA SOONA HEA B ECUMA STUPIDO TOO.
FROMA NO SKOOLA INA HIS HEADA. HEA GOA TO DA SCULO BECAUSA HEA HUNGRI ALLA TIMA ANA SOONA
HEA B ECUMA STUPIDO TOO. FROMA NO SKOOLA INA HIS HEADA.
HEA TO TO DA WORKA ONA FARM TOA FREEDA DA PORKO PIGS SO HEA CAN EETS TOO, LIKE A PIGS. HEA
GROW BIGGA ANDA STRONGO. WENA THE BUTCHA CUTA UPPI DA PIGS, MI PAPA SEE SOMA SMALL PEECES OV DA MEET
ANA PORKA FATA ONA DA TABL. SO WENA HE CLEENA UPPI DA MESSA
HE PUTA DA SCRAPPS INA DA GUTS WID A LIDDL BITA OVA SALTA ANA HEE DRI INA DA SUN. DISA WEY HE MAKA
A BIGGA BUSINESSI FO HIMSELF WIDDA BIGA SALAMI, HEA CALLA ITA “GEONA SALAMI”, FO HISA HOMA TOWNA.
WEN MI MAMA SEE HIMA, WONA DAE, WIDA DA BIGA SALAMI INA HISA HANDSA SHEA FALL DOWNA WID LOVA FOR DAT SALAMI ANA PAPA!
DEN, DAE GOA TO DA CHURCHA FOR A TO GETA MARRY,
BUTA DAE NO HAVEA HONEYMOONI, SOA DAE GOA TO BEDA RIGHTA WAE ANDA SOONA I BE BORND, NO ONA OCTOBA 13 BUTA ONA APRILA 4, 1462.
DIS WASA GOODA YERE TO MAKA DA WINA TOO.
MI MAMA, SHEA NO CANA GOA TO DA SKOOLA BECAUZA SHEA ISA SHEA, Y NO.
DEY NO ALLOWSA DA GIRLSA, ONI DA BOYA TOA GO. DA MENA OFFA
DA TOWNA WANTA DA GIRLSA TO STAE DUMBA, SOA DAE CANA, U NO, CONTROLLA DEM ANDA DA MARRY WOMENS STAE BAREFOOTS AND PREGNANTI,
ALA TIMA INA DA HOUSA. BUTA MI MAMA, SHEA NO DUMMA BECUZ SHEA COMA FROMA ROMA, WEAR DEY ALLA SMATA
LIKE JULIOUS CEASAR, WHOA BILDA ROMA IN A DAE.
SO WANA DAE MI PAPA SAE, “ROSA, IA TINK DA WERLD ISA FLAT, LIKA ITSA LOOKA, ‘MI
MAMA SHEA SAE, “ NO PAPA DA WERLD ISA ROUNDA, LIKA U HEADSA”. HE SAE “NO, MAMA,
DA PAPA DA WERLD ISA FLAT, ANA HE NO LIE. MAMA SAE TO PAPA, “IFFA DA WORLDA ISA FLAT HOWA CUM
DA SUN SHE DISAPEER INA DA NITE AND CUMA BAKA INA DA MORNINK? WERE DA SUNA DIDA ALA DA NITE, IFA
DA WERLD ISA FLAT? MI PAPA, HE SAE, “IMA DA BOSS HEER SO IA SAE DA WURLD ISA FLAT.”
MY MAMA SAE, “THAT’S NO RIGHTA BECUZA WERE DA SUN GO?” NOWA IA TINK DA WERLD IS ROWND ANA ITA GO BEHINDA DA WERLD AT A NITE.
WEN
I GRO UPPI MY MAMA ANA PAPA STILL FIGHTA ABOWTA WURLD ISA FLAT ORA ROWND. SO IA TRI TO HELPI MI MAMA
AND FIGHTA WID ALA D PEEPLES INA DA TOWN ABOUTS DA WERLD ISA FLTA ORA ROUNDS. I WENTA TO WURK ATA DA SHORE ONA DA BOATA TI FISHA ANA I SEE MISEF DA SUN GO DOWNA DA SEA ATA NITI INA DA WEST ANA COMA
BAKA INA DA MORNING FROMA DA EASTA. I CANO STOPA TELLA ALA DA PEEPLES ANA SHOW DEM DA SUN GO DOWN
OVA HEER ANDA COME UPPY OVA DERE.
NOW A SOMA PEEPLE SAY, TOO, CHRISTOFOLO, U RIGHTA
ANA ITSA ROUND NO FLAT LIKA DA PREEST, HE SAE. WEN DA PREEST, HE HERE DIS, HE ISA REEL MADA ANA HE
SENDA ME OUTA OWN BECUZ IMA “CRAZY.” SO I GOA TO FLORENCE, WERE DA PEEPLE ARA SMART A
LIKE MAMA ANNA DEY SAE “MABE U RIHTA, BUT A SO WATA?” IA THINKA QWIK, ANA SAE, IFA DA
WURLD ISA ROWND U CANA SAIL WEST TO GOA EAST TO CHINA QWIKA TOA GETA DA SPAGETI ANDA DA SILKA U PUTA ONA U CLOSES, NOWA DEY
BEGINA TO LISEN TO MEA. WERE U GETA DA MUNI TO SAIL WEST TOA
CHINA? I SAE, IA GO TO DA MEDICI, INA GENOA, DEY GUTA DA MUNI TOA INVESTI ANA DAE LIKA TO MAKA MUNI LIKA
HALLABERTON, CHENEY ANA PRESIDENTI BUSHI IN DA IRAKI OLIO, DA IND HOO ISA INA DA GROUWND. I MEETA
WID DA MEDICI ANDA DEY SAE, OK WE GIVA U DA MUNI BUTA U NEEDA COLLATERAL. I NO NO WATS COLLATERAL, SO I
SAE, WATA COLLATERAL U WANTA? DAY SAE WATA U GOTTA OFFA VALUE, GOLDA, SILVER RUBIES?
I SAE NO BUT MI PAPA AND MAMA GIVA ME A BIGA SALAMI, EVERBODY LIK VERI MUCH, SO
U WANT TO SEE IT? I NO NO WAT I SAE RONG BUT A SOON THE GARDS TRO ME INA DA STREET ANA SAE, “GO
WEST YOUNG MAN! WIDDA U SALAMI, BUTA DISA NO COLLATERAL”.
I CANO GO TOA ROMA FOR A DA MUNI BECUZ CAESAR, HESA DED ANA NERO BURN ROMA DOWNA TO
DA GROUND, ANA ITSA NO ROMA DERE. NOW HOW, U NO WAT I MEED?
BUTA DEY SAY, DA POPE, ANA DA CHURCH INA CHARGA NOWANDA DEY GETA ALA MONEY INA DA BOX ONA SUNDAY.
WENA I KISSA HISA RINGA ANDA SAE IWANTA DA MUNI FOR TO GO TO CHINA HE SAE, “U GO TO HELL, NO CHINA, U CRAZY IN
DA HED. IMA GONA EXCOMUNICATE U, IF U SAE DA WURLD IS NO FLAT!” SUM GUYS
SAE SPAIN GOTA DA MUNI ANA DA SHIPS ANA DY TRADE FERDINAND AND QUEEN ISABELLA. DISA TIMA I BRINGA
SUMA GIFS LIKE SPAGETTI ANA SILK FROM CHINA I BY INA DA STOR INA GENOA ANDA U KNOW I GOTTA BRING MY SALAMI FROM MI MAMA AND
PAPA. WENA I SHOW DEM MI GIFS, DEY LIKA EVERYDING BUTA ISABELLA LIKE DA MOST, MI SALAMI.
KINGA FERDINAND HE ISA COLD FOR MI IDEA TO GO WEST TO GO EAST TO CHINA, BUT ISABELLA, SSHE ISA HOTA ALL OVER AND AFTA
A FEW DAES SHE CONVINCE FERDINAND TO GIVE ME TREE SHIPS AND MEN FOR A DA VOYAGE, IA TINKA ITSA BECUZ ISABELLA LOV A MI SALAMI
SO MUCH SHE EATA IT DAE ANDA NIGHTA AND FERDINAND ISA ALONE INA DA BED. FINALI FERDINAND, GIF MI
DA SHIPS SO I CAN GO AWAY WID DA SHIPS AND LEAVE ISABELLA WID HIMA. THAT’S WEN I FINDA OUTA
WATSA COLLATERAL, FO SURE. EVERYBODY ASK MI HOW FAR TO CHINA? I SAY WONA MONS TIMA.
BECUZ I GIGGA ITSA ABOUT A TREE TOUSAND MILES OR OR 5000 KILOMETERS, ASA DA CROW FLIES. DIS SHIPSA
NO GUTA MOTA LIKA QUEEN MARY BUTA WE CANA SAIL SOUTH TOA THE I LAND WID DA CANARIES DEN CATCH DA WEST WIND TO CHINA GOODA
IDEA DEY SAE, LETSA GO! I
GOTTA TREE SHIPPI, DA NINA DA PINTA AND SANTA MARIA, NAMA FO DA BLESSED VIRGIN, IMA CATHOLIC U NO ANA EVERYBODY CATHOLIC,
UNDER DA POPE INA ROMA. I GOTTA CONTRACT WID KINGA FERDINAND FO 10% OFA WHATEVA WE BRINGA BACA AND
I GOTA A PRIEST TO CONVERT ALLA DA PEEPLE WE MEET SO WE ALLA CATHOLIC LIKA DA POPE ANA ALLA USSES. DISA,
ISA DA TIMA BEFOR MARTIN LUTHA FROM GERMANY TO BECUME LUTHERAN LIKA HIM ANA MAKA TRUBLLE FOR DA POPE. ALSO
THISA ISA BEFORE KING GEORGIA FROM ENGLAND CHANGE TO PROTISTANI BECUZ DA POPE NO GIF HIMA DIVORCE FRUM MARY QUEEN OF SCOTTS
WHO NO HAV MAN BABY FO HIM. ONA 9TH
OF AUGUSTO 1492 WEA SALE FRUM BARCELLONA, SPAIN ACROSS DA BLU MEDITERRANIAN, PASSA GIBRALTA ANDA INTO DA GREENA ATLANTIC DEN
TURNA SOWD TO DA CANARIES. DA CREW ISA OK FOR ABOWT A MONTH BUT DA FOOD DISAPEAR ANDA DA WATA TASTA
NO GOODA ANA WE NO DERE IN CHINA YET. BUT IA SAE GIF ME TREE MORE DAES BECUZ WE SEE DA BIRDS FLY IN DA
SKI ANDA SOME PALMS LEVES AND COCONUTS INA DA WATA SO IF FIGGA LAND IS NEER US FRUM HEER. DA MEN
DEY DRINKA ALA DA WINE TO TRADE ANA DA OILIO DI OLIVA BUT DAT MAKE DEM SIK LIKA COD LIVER OIL AND U CAN COUNT ALA DA SAILORS
ONA DA TREE SHIPS FROM DA REAR ENDS HANGING OVER DA SIDA OFFA DA SHIP ALATIMA. AFTA TOO DAES WE SEE LANDA
ONE NITE ANDA DA NEX DAE WE TAKE A FEW MENS ANA ROWABOAT TO SHORE WID DA FLAGS OFA SPAIN AND DA CATHOLIC CROSS AND PLANTA
ITA INDA SAND ANA I SAE THANK U GOD FOR TO TAKA USSES TO CHINA ANDA I CLAIMA DIS LANDA FOR SPAIN. DA
DATE ISA OCTOBER 12, 1492, U SEE NOTA MI BIRTHDAE. I CALLA DIS ISLAND SAN SEBASTION FO MI BOYFREND ONA
DA SHIP HOOA TAKA CARA MI SALAMI BECUZ NO WOMANS ALLOWED ONA DA SHIP TO FITE ABOUT ALLA TIMA. THATSA BECUZ
DA SAILORS HAF NOBODI TO PLAY WID BUTA DEMSHELVES. WEA LOOKA AROUNDA DA ISLAND QUICK LIKE, BUTA NO
FIND WATER OR FOOD OR PEEPLE TO CONVERT SO WEA GO TO ANUDDA ISLAND I CALLA ESPANIOLA BUT TODAY ITSA PARTA HAITI ANDA PARTA
DOMENICA REPUBLIC BUTA NO LIKE DA REPUBLICANS INA T DA GOODA OLE U. S. A., DATA RUNA DA CUNTRI WID DA WAR IN IRAQI ANA NO
STOPPA ANA COMA HOME FRUM DERE. NOW WE FINDA WATER ANA FOODA ANA SOME DARK PEEPLE I CALLA INDIANS
BECAUSE I TINK I AM IN INDIA CLOSE. BUT IA FINDA OUTA TOO LATE DAT DEY NO INDIANS BUT NATIVE AMERICANS
BECAUSE AMERICO VESPUCCI SAE SO WEN HEA DISCOVER DA U.S.A. BEFORE ITA GUT ITSA NAIMA, HEA GIVE TO DEM. I FIGGA IMA INA CHINA, BUTA WERE DA SPAGETTI ANA SILK ANA CHINA? I KEEPA LOOKA ANA FIND JAMAICA FOR LOTS OF FRESH WATER EAST WID THUNDA INA OURS HANDSA (RIFLES). I
SEE GOLD RINGS ANA BRACELETS ONA DERE ARMSES, AND DEY GIF DEM TO US A GISTSES ANDA WE GIVE THEM RELIGION BUTA DEY NO LIKE
IT, ALSO DEY NO LIKE WE TAKA DERE WOMENS AND, U NO, TAKE ADVANTAGE OFFA DEM, LIKA U NO WAT. SOON
DA PEEPLE DIE FRUM A DISEASE WE NO NO, MI FGALT, BUTA DERES. I THINKA ITSA FRUM EATING TOO MUCHA COCONUT
MILKA BUTA ITA CANO BEE BECUZ ITSA TASTE SO GOODA.
WELL, WE FIND CUBA
BEFORE CASTRO RUIN IT AND TAKE OVA DA CUNTRI. ANA I SAIL BACK TO SPAIN WID DA NEWS I FOUND CHINA AND A
KING OF SPAIN AND ISABELLA, WHOA I CALLA ISABELLA BELLA. IMA A HERO ANA DAE GIVA ME FOUR SHIPS MORE TO
RETURN ONA FILL WID GOLD AND SILVER AND OTHER TREASURE WE FINDA ANA TAKA FROM DA INDIANS.
AFFA
FORE TRIPS TO DA PLACE I THINKA CHINA IS ANA I CANO FIND CHINA OR DA PACIFIC OCEAN TO GO DERE, I GIVE UP AND LOSE ALA MY SHIPS
AND WEN I GO BAKA TO SPAIN THEY FIRE ME AND PUTA A SPANISH MANA IN CHARGA SO DEY CAN, U NO, SCREW ME OUTA MI CONTRACT FOR
DA SHARE OF DA RICHES I FOUNDA.
I DIED IN 1506 AND I FIND OUTA AFTA IMA DED DAT SPAIN TOOK SHIP AFTA SHIP FULL OF GOLD,
SILVER AND RICHES OUTA AMERICA FOR A MANY YERES UNTIL DA ENGLISH AND PIRATES MAKA SO MUCH TRUBBLE AND DA HURRICANES SINK HAFA
DA SHIPS ALATIME, EACH SEASON. DEN IN 1898 WHEN DA BATLESHIP MAINE SINK IN HAVANA CUBA ANDA DA U.S.A.,
UNDA TEDDY ROOSENVELT, TOOK PORTO RICO, CUBA ANA DA FILAPINES AWAY FROM SPAIN ANA SPAIN GO POOR AGAIN. LATER I FIND OUTA DAT A
LOT OF DA PEEPLES SAE COLUMBUS NO DISCOVER AMERICA, IT WASA ERIC DA RED FROM NORWAY, WHO FIND IT FIVE HUNDRED YEERS BEFORE
IN NEWFOUNDLAND. THAT’S OK BY MI BUT WHY HE KEEPA IT A SECRET FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARS ANA HE
NO TELL ME, SO I CAN SAVA DA TRIP. DA ANSWER ISA YOU NO DISCOVA ANYTHING DATA YOU KEEP A SECRET ANA NOBPODI
NO FOR ALLA DOSE YEERS, RIGHT? SO IMA
DA WON HOO DISCOVERED AMERICA ANA ITA FELONGA TO ME BECUZ SPAIN BROKEN DA CONTRACT WID MI. SO NOW IMA GUNA
GO TO DA COURT SUPREME IN THE GOOD OLE U.S.A., LIKE DA INDIANS AND IMA GUNA WINNA MI CASA ANA CHANGA DA NAME OF DA UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA TO THE UNITED STATES OF COLUMBUS, BECUZ AMERICO VESPUCCI COTA NO RIGHT TO DATA NAME BECUZ HE BUMP INTO AMERICA
WEN I ALREDDY WAS DERE, IN DA FURST PLASES. DEN IMA GONA CHANGE DA EAGLE FROM DA SIMBOL OF DA U.S.
OF COLUMBUS AND MAKA ITA BIGA SALAMI INSTEAD, LIKE ALLA DA PEEPLE DERE, INCLUDING BUSHY, DA PRESIDENTI HOO TINKS WE DUMBA
DAN HIM IS. IFA U REED DIS, NO TELLA ANYBODI, BUTA IMA GONA RUN FOR
PRESIDENTI INA 2008 ANA DA SLOGAN ISA “VOTA FOR MI, IMA NAVIGATOR, HOO DISA CUNTRI NEEDSA RITE NOW.
VOTA FOR NO ABSENTIA, DA FINDAAND DA FOUNDA OF DIS CUNTRI, DA UNITED STATES OF
COLUMBUS.”
PLEESA SEE MI CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR MOORE DEETAILS, Giuseppe Marino. TANK U VERI MUCHA.
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